Thursday, November 10, 2011

Russia + Iran = BFF

Best Friends Break Away Heart Pendant Charms Iran and Russia, sitting in a tree...

In the last week, several sightings of Russia and Iran cozying up have been reported.  Ali Bagheri, the Deputy Secretary of Iran's Supreme National Security Council, was spotted in Moscow, where rumors are he was meeting with Russian "national security officials," including Russian Security Council head Nikolai Patrushev.  Inside sources say that the two have been "making plans" to meet to "sign a new bilateral cooperation document."  Is that what the kids are calling it now?  Iran and Russia have nurtured a secret relationship for years, but Russia finally declared its love openly by shouting it from the rooftop of the UN Security Council, stating it will not support any, like, mean bullying or name calling of its BFF and telling everyone else to just chill.  China, like all good wingmen, backed up Russia, saying "yeah."

We also JUST learned that Russia is making plans to pop the question to Iran...  "will you let me build more nuclear power plants in you?" (presumably followed by "check yes or no").  Also, Israel is talking smack about the couple, alleging that a Russian scientist (who's really a Ukrainian) was playing match-maker.  And that Iran just needs to check itself before it wrecks itself.  Obviously Israel is still upset at its own BFF (United States) for ever being involved with Iran, even though the US says it had a good reason to be and it really didn't mean anything and it still loved Israel best and it'll all be ok, baby.

So, is the world ready for AhmadinePu?  Can the cat fight between Iran and Israel be calmed down?  What does this mean for the US and Russia?

If Russia and Iran continue on their convergence path, then the US is placed in an awkward position given the "resetting" of relations with Russia.  How far is the US willing to go to maintain positive steps with Russia, yet still be able to placate Israel?  If the rhetoric between Israel and Iran continues to ramp up, Russia and the US will find themselves pushed further apart, as each backs its ally.  Taken far enough, perhaps this will be the movement to a new balance of global power, away from a teetering hegemon unsure how to maintain its power (or if it even wants to) and towards the old stable pattern of bipolarity.  And would that be so bad?  After all, in a bipolar world, it's easier to identify friends, best friends, and enemies.

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